Final 2024 C&J Annual Fundraiser Pitch
Many thanks to everyone who contributed this week to keep Cheers and Jeers alive and kickin'. The way I see it, it's win-win: you get C&J renewed for another year and I get to relinquish my soul for another year, which frees up valuable storage space in my chest cavity for candy corn. Oh, and it also pays the bills. The one-time and monthly donation options are…
One time contribution: click here.
$5 monthly contribution: click here
$10 monthly contribution: click here
$20 monthly contribution: click here
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To send a donation via snail mail:
Bill Harnsberger, 16 Pitt Street, Portland, ME, 04103.
If you're already a C&J monthly subscriber through PayPal:
You don’t have to do anything but make sure your card is still active and
then feel good about your excellent investment.
Or—and this is my final argument, may God have mercy on my marketing skills—think of it this way: for the price of a cup of coffee per day, you can enjoy both C&J and one less cup of coffee per day.
Together, we can keep the kiddie pool inflated for America and freedom. This concludes our annual fundraiser. Again, thank you for supporting our little oasis from the slings and arrows of outrageous MAGA. We will now turn the oxygen back on.
Your humble servant,
Billeh
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, April 19, 2024
Note: Due to a clerical error, we won’t be able to turn the oxygen back on until next Tuesday sometime between 10am and 2pm. In lieu of an apology, we’ll simply express regret in the likely event that you plan to handle this news poorly. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Weeks 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend: 5
Days 'til the Riverside Tamale Festival in California: 8
Estimated amount it would cost for all the nations in the Paris Climate Accord to reach their goals by 2050, according to a study published in the journal Nature: $6 trillion
Expected economic damage due to the climate crisis by 2050: $38 trillion
Percent of the 1,503 guns confiscated at U.S. airports during the first quarter of 2024 that were loaded, according to the TSA: 93%
Age of former Democratic Florida Governor and U.S. Senator Bob Graham when he died this week: 87
Percent chance that Froot Loops are all the same flavor despite the different colors, prompting expedited impeachment proceedings in the House of Representatives: 100%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: In Fresno County, California……Saved!!!
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CHEERS to the wisdom of the yoots. The age-old question that vexes thems who predict election turnouts is always: how many of those darn kids are going to cast ballots? There have been elections where they've let our country down by focusing more on their video games and boom-boom "rock and roll" music, and others where they've literally pulled our country's smoldering ass out of the fire. (Thank you!) Although this venture into a Wisconsin kiddie den is far from scientific, it's good to see that student voters seem to have more on their mind than just—if you listen to the dead-tree media—student loan forgiveness:
HuffPost spent a couple of days in Madison talking to college students about the presidential election. We asked more than two dozen of them the same two questions: Do you plan to vote in November, and if so, who would you vote for and why?
There was a clear theme to their responses. Most said yes, most said they planned to vote for Biden, and most said it was because they just don’t want Trump in the White House.
“I’m going to be voting for Joe Biden because Donald Trump has proven time and again that he’s not interested in continuing democracy,” said Dylan Goldman, a 19-year-old student at the University of Wisconsin–Madison who is from Florida. “While I think Joe Biden is too old to be president, I’ve been left with no other choice.”
“I don’t know if I can say it any better,” chimed in his friend Michael Howe, 20, of Brainerd, Minnesota. “I will also be voting for Biden."
Glad to hear it. Thanks for your commitment to doing your civic duty, and for the right reasons. Now go tell 1.2 million of your friends. There's a fresh pack of Necco Wafers in it if you can finish by Monday morning. Love, Gramps.
CHEERS (and a JEER) to going out with a bang. After the country's worst gun massacre of 2023 left over a dozen dead just up the road from us in Lewiston, all eyes were on Augusta to see how the state government of Maine—notoriously slow on gun-control measures—would react. It took six months and a lot of hemming and hawing over actions that have been proven to reduce gun violence in other states, but on the last day of their session they stepped up and took some action:
Democratic Gov. Janet Mills and the Democratic-led Legislature pressed for a number of gun and mental health proposals after the shooting that claimed 18 lives and injured another 13 people, despite the state’s strong hunting tradition and support for gun owners.
The governor's bill, approved early Thursday, would strengthen the state’s yellow flag law, boost background checks for private sales of guns and make it a crime to recklessly sell a gun to someone who is prohibited from having guns. The bill also funds violence prevention initiatives and opens a mental health crisis receiving center in Lewiston.
The Maine Senate also narrowly gave final approval Wednesday to a 72-hour waiting period for gun purchases and a ban on bump stocks that can transform a weapon into a machine gun.
Missing from the package, unfortunately, was a "red flag law," which might've prevented the Lewiston massacre by allowing relatives of unstable kin—as the shooter most definitely was, and they knew it—to get a court order removing guns from their hands (and pants, car trunks, drawers, cabinets, backpacks, bed stands, etc.). Oh well. Maybe next session. After all, what's the worst that could happen between now and then?
CHEERS to a good thumpin’. On April 19, 1775—a day after Paul Revere & Co.’s famous ride—our War of Independence began in Massachusetts (or, if you’re Michele Bachmann, New Hampshire) with a brief skirmish at Lexington, a more substantial engagement at Concord’s North Bridge, and guerrilla warfare as we chased the redcoats (Really, guys? Red? Bright red? Lemme guess: your uniforms were designed by a committee) back to Boston:
After searching Concord for about four hours, the British prepared to return to Boston, located 18 miles away. By that time, almost 2,000 militiamen—known as minutemen for their ability to be ready on a moment’s notice—had descended to the area, and more were constantly arriving. At first, the militiamen simply followed the British column. Fighting started again soon after, however, with the militiamen firing at the British from behind trees, stone walls, houses and sheds. Before long, British troops were abandoning weapons, clothing and equipment in order to retreat faster.
The colonists did not show great marksmanship that day. As many as 3,500 militiamen firing constantly for 18 miles only killed or wounded roughly 250 Redcoats, compared to about 90 killed and wounded on their side.
Nevertheless, they proved they could stand up to one of the most powerful armies in the world. By the following summer, a full-scale war of independence had broken out.
And today we’re still fighting wars. Depending on which side you’re on: against women, secularism, scamvangelists, immigrants, Anglo-Saxon fetishists, drag queens, fast food, guns, white supremacist terrorists, drugs, freedom, terror, lady parts, the deep state, education, capitalism, cancel culture, the poor, liberals, conservatives, Asians, Hispanics, blacks, gays, transfolks, seniors, the 99 percent, the 1 percent, and Christmas. But at least not Afghanistan anymore. Hooray. Sweets and flowers for everyone.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to going back in time half a century (your time travel coordinates may vary). Sunday is Kindergarten Day. It's the day when we fondly look back and remember those golden moments sitting around in a big building eating paste, running around with shoes untied, making crude misspelled signs on construction paper with giant markers, not making it to the bathroom in time, throwing tantrums, enjoying extended nappy time, and babbling constant nonsense with no particular point. Or As the House Freedom Caucus calls it: Sunday.
CHEERS to home vegetation. While we’re waiting for April showers to bring May flowers, might as well kick back in the living room hammock and catch some screen time. The Trump trial and fallout from the week’s other big stories will be front and center tonight on MSNBC. Yours truly will be live-tweeting the Star Trek silly-but-still-classic episode A Private Little War (H&I Network, 8pm) at hashtag #allstartrek. There’s a new episode of Penn & Teller: Fool Us! 8 on the CW. Oh, and at 9 CBS is re-running Billy Joel: The 100th—Live at Madison Square Garden. (Let’s see if they’ll let him finish Piano Man this time.)
The most popular movies and streamers, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The NHL schedule is here, the NBA playoff schedule is here, and the Major League Baseball schedule is here.
Sunday on 60 Minutes: an interview with Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo, the history of the Channel Islands, and a profile of comedian Kevin Hart. At 8, Homer and the gang from Moe’s go on a road trip to scatter a buddy’s ashes on The Simpsons. Sunday night’s HBO lineup includes a new episode of The Sympathizer (just give Robert Downey Jr. his Emmy already), and the weekend wraps with a new edition of John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Face the Nation: Gov. Josh Shapiro (D-PA); Sen. Dan Sullivan (MAGA Cult-AK).
Meet the Press: Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy; historian Doris Kearns Goodwin.
This Week: Reps. Ro Khanna (D-CA) and Michael McCaul (MAGA Cult-TX); former Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer.
CNN's State of the Union: Gov. JB Pritzker (D-IL); Gov. Kristi Noem AND HER AMAZING SMILE THANKS TO HER BRILLIANT TEXAS DENTISTS! (MAGA Cult-SD).
Fox MAGA Talking Points Sunday: Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-FL); Sens. Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) and Lindsey Graham (MAGA Cult-SC).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 19, 2014
CHEERS and JEERS to sibling revelry. Scientists with gigantic eyeballs are hootin' and hollerin' this week after discovering a planet—Kepler-186f—that's just like ours. The good news: it has a moderate climate, water, gravity and the same chemical composition as us. Bad news: it doesn't have war, pollution, greed, vanity or the filibuster. So congratulations, fellow Earthlings—apparently we're the evil twin.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the mellowest national holiday ever. Tomorrow is 4/20 Day, and that means it’s also Ben Masel Day! Ben was a cantankerous, beloved Kossack (User ID 3982, joining one day before the debut of C&J in December, 2003), perennial attendee at our Netroots Nation conventions, and a good-trouble causer on behalf of legal pot, free speech and privacy rights whom the folks in Madison, Wisconsin will never forget.
Read John Nichols’ 2012 tribute to him here. He was the template for the dogged activist, and he’d be loving the recent warp-speed acceptance and legalization of the demon weed.
In his honor, tomorrow night we plan to twist up a fattie as we watch The Wizard of Oz with the sound turned down and replaced with Dark Side of the Moon. And miss old Ben—the Kenobi of Doobie Land.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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